


Still Breathing

by orphan_account



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Cancer, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 05:40:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9705689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In which Gerard suffers from a terminal illness and Frank is the only one to stay with him until the end.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> smh i deleted this on accident

Tears blurred Gerard's vision and he could hear his blood racing through every vein in his body. The bright overhead lights of the doctor's office were no longer tolerable. He stood up from the stained chair he was sitting on and stumbled out of the room to the waiting area, where his small group of family and his closest friend stood impatiently. Their heads all raised as they looked at him, worry in their eyes as they waited for the presumably horrible news that was eating away at the boy.

There was a dreadful few seconds of silence as the tears slid down Gerard's pale cheeks and he took in a shaky breath. "I... I have inoperable brain cancer." He managed to say, his voice quieted and uncertain. He himself hardly believed it, and he didn't want to have to believe it. He didn't want anyone to have to believe it.

When he looked up, through his greasy, dark hair, he flinched at the looks on everyone's faces. All of them were expecting this at some point, but why did it have to happen now? Why, with such a young, talented, important man, did it have to happen now? Expressions of grief, fear, and sadness stared grimly at him and he was lost in them until he felt two hands on his shoulders. He focused, seeing Frank standing before him.

Oh, Frank. Frank was always Gerard's number one fan, always by his side. He could always be trusted and counted on. Not once had they ever wronged each other, yet right now Frank looked to be in true pain. His hazel eyes locked with Gerard's for a moment before he pulled the ill boy into a tight, loving hug. "It's gonna be okay, Gee. I'm never gonna let you be alone, okay?" He mumbled, closing his eyes and not letting go. He felt Gerard's arms wrap around him as well, and he knew that the two of them would make this okay.

Once they parted, Frank turned around. Everyone but Gerard's mother and brother had left. What a turn out, right? Mikey, his brother, looked at the two of them with eyes swollen from tears. "You're joking, right, Gerard? You aren't gonna..." The ending was implied, and it broke Gerard's heart.

"I am, Mikey." He nodded sadly, his chin quivering as he started to cry again. "I have six months." At that point, Mikey was sick. He rushed to the door, pushing it open and throwing up on the concrete outside almost immediately. Tears streamed down as he hunched over, unable to accept that this was real, that any of this was happening. His mother followed, going to console the weeping boy.

"Come outside when you're ready, you two." His mother nodded, tearing up. She was always tough when it came to things like this, she handled it well.

Frank looked up at Gerard, who was just slightly taller than him. "Let's head home, okay? I'll stay the night with you." He smiled sympathetically, taking the other's hand. He nodded, letting Frank guide him out and to his car. He still felt weak as he climbed into the passenger seat and leaned back. Sighing, he closed his eyes.

Frank drove them to the Way household, where his family was already waiting. He parked and took a moment to look over at Gerard, who seemed to be sleeping. He looked beautiful, and to Frank, he always did. That was his best friend. His amazing, perfect best friend. A little smile stretched over his lips as he reached over and shook Gerard's shoulder.

"Wake up, sleeping beauty." He joked. After a moment, the boy was still unresponsive. Frank's smile faded and he shook him again. "Gerard? Gerard." He said frantically, His nerves starting to act up. He threw himself out of the car and sprinted into the house, stumbling and running into things.

"Gerard won't wake up!" He shouted. "Call an ambulance!" He put his hands on his head, running back outside. He couldn't believe this. Didn't he say he had six more months? What went wrong and why couldn't anyone stop it?


	2. 2

Frank wandered the hospital hallway, back and forth, pacing. He was the only one who wasn't too afraid to come with Gerard and now, he had to admit he was terrified. Trips to the emergency room were frequent for him, but this was the first time anything he valued was on the line. His relatives' lives and even his own life didn't mean much at all when his best friend was on his deathbed. He figured he owed it to Gerard, considering he'd been there for him through thick and thin. He should do the same.

He was roused from his thoughts when he heard the familiar click of a hospital doorknob. His head shot up, making eye contact with the nurse who stepped out of Gerard's room. She gave him a nod and motioned for him to come in, much to Frank's relief. However, the relief was gone when he laid eyes on the other man. He was pale and looked sicker than Frank had ever seen him. He didn't look like himself. If it wasn't for the greasy, dark mess of hair, Frank would've thought he was someone else. 

"Oh my God... is he okay?" He asked the nurse hesitantly, not quite sure if he wanted to know or not. Obviously he wasn't expecting a great answer. As much as he'd like to hear something along the lines of, 'He'll be fine, nothing's wrong', he knew that would probably never happen. It saddened him, but he didn't cry. He didn't want to be teary eyed when his best friend woke up.

"He is, he is. Clearly he isn't at peak condition, but he's okay." The woman had a sympathetic look on her face while she explained what was going to have to happen. Gerard would have to be put in a different hospital and start chemo, and he'd stay there until he got better. If he got better. The thought of the adventurous, bold boy being confined to a hospital bed sickened Frank. That's not where he belonged. He was an artist, who belonged in the big city, making a living off of the beautiful creations that would flow from his mind.

Frank could see it now. Gerard, wearing those ratty tennis shoes he refused to throw away, coffee in hand as he sketched mesmerizing patterns by the window of his penthouse apartment. Surrounding him would be tubes of paint, brushes, pencils, and every other supply he would never want to clean up. That's how he always was. He never put anything back where he found it.

Gerard opened his eyes, groggy from whatever was in the drip in his arm. When he saw that, he was certainly not pleased. With a hoarse screech, he flung his arm up into the air. "Get it out, I don't want that there!" It was times like this where his needle phobia was a real pain in the ass.

With a lighthearted chuckle, Frank ran to him. "Zip it, you need that." He was smiling for the first time all day. He cupped Gerard's face in his hands, never have been so happy to see anyone. Gerard smiled back, locking eyes with his best friend. He was too lucky to have someone as perfect as Frank.

"I almost thought I was never gonna see you again." Gee whispered, putting his un-needled arm around Frank and pulling him closer. Frank climbed onto the crinkly bed beside him, not caring about anything else. His own issues meant nothing, right now his world was Gerard. 

"So did I." He whispered in response, clinging onto the other's frail body. "But I knew you'd fight. I knew you'd be okay. You have so much strength." His voice cracked and tears stung at the corners of his eyes. He had so much to say but he couldn't get it out, and he feared he would run out of time to say it.

He decided that for now, silence was best. He tangled his arms around Gerard, lovingly caressing his soft hair. All they did was look at each other, enjoying the company and the closeness. For Gerard, this was the first time he felt truly loved, truly appreciated and accepted. It saddened him that it took being near death to finally feel that. At the young age of 28, he had expected to have had a significant relationship by then. But it just never happened. He had just assumed that he was weird, or undesirable, or just that nobody wanted him. But Frank wanted him, and he thought he wanted Frank too.


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is all soft and good, enjoy

Gerard woke up early, almost forgetting where he was. It still seemed so surreal to him, being hospitalized. He looked all around, Frank being the first thing he noticed. He was still curled up next to him, fast asleep and clinging onto him. It was endearing, really. He was loyal, more loyal than anyone he'd ever met. He figured Frank would make a great boyfriend to someone lucky one day.

Seemingly on cue, Frank's eyes fluttered open and looked around the bright room. His eyes dilated beautifully before he looked up at Gerard and grinned groggily. "Mornin', Gee." His sleepy eyes smiled as well, making his whole face light up wonderfully.

"Morning, Frankie." Gerard beamed back, ruffling Frank's messy, brown hair. He had refrained from dying it for a while, much to Gee's delight. He loved Frank's natural hair, it was softer and shinier than when he gooped it up with dye and hairspray. "Did you stay here all night?"

Frank nodded, moving his arms to stretch them above his head. "Mhm." He groaned, his back popping. "Full homo, but I couldn't leave you here alone, that would make me a dickhead friend." He giggled the familiar, dopey laugh that made Gerard's heart flutter.

"You're a dickhead anyway." Gerard laughed back, struggling to sit up without tugging at the IV. Frank shifted up to help him, propping him up on the already flat pillow. "Frank, kiss me."

The words stunned Frank for just a short moment, his heart seeming to stop along with time. "O-Okay." He nodded before leaning down, confidently pressing a kiss to Gerard's chapped lips. The heart monitor connected to the latter sped up, the beeping sounds coming rapidly. They pulled apart, only an inch, and smiled against each other. Soft, lighthearted chuckles left both of them for a second before Frank leaned back down and reconnected with him.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." Frank grinned, keeping himself close to Gerard. "Years, Gee. Years. I hadn't realized it until now... But I'm in love with you." The words came spilling out, faster than he could control them. He shut himself up finally, nearly shaking as he looked at Gerard. He hoped to god that he wasn't being weird, he didn't want to make the next six months awkward and uncomfortable for either of them. It sounded more romantic in his head, quite honestly.

Gerard giggled in response. "Do me a favor, Frank." He lied down, pulling the other boy down with him and wrapping his arms around him. "Make these next few months worth it. Okay? Because I'm going to miss you the most when I'm gone." He kissed Frank's forehead before smiling at him adoringly. After everything, all the trauma, he was beginning to accept that it was almost over for him. He was okay with it, he knew that rightfully, death is just a step along the way. But, in the meantime, he was going to make the best of this crazy coincidence of life.

The two boys were pulled from their thoughts when the nurse from the day before came into the room. "It's moving day!" She said with seemingly false enthusiasm before explaining that Gerard was going to have to be taken to a different hospital. This was obvious anyway, but Gerard was irritated. He swore the next place better let Frank stay with him, especially that he was going to be on chemo to keep himself up for as long as possible. To Frank's dismay, he had to get out of the uncomfortable bed to help Gerard stand up and get ready.

He could have stayed there with Gerard all day, just holding him and talking about how much they meant to each other. In fact, he would have enjoyed that a lot. He looked over at his best friend and sighed. He looked so bad, he wasn't himself. Despite it, he was going to stay with him until he left first.


End file.
